I had a screed cooking about Pablo Torre continuing to skewer Steve Ballmer and the Clippers, but that will have to wait. Clayton Kershaw announced his retirement today. Friday will be his last home start and possibly his last outing ever. Things would need to get a little squirly in the playoffs for Kershaw to pitch.

Clayton made his Dodger debut in 2008. At the time, I was very aware of his prospect status and thrilled to see a 20yr old in the Big Leagues. Kershaw had a prodigious curve ball. A 12-6 hammer that isn’t in fashion anymore. Paired with a mid to high 90s heater and good enough command, Kershaw hit the ground running and never looked back. Over the next 18 years, Kershaw would post the single greatest career ERA of qualified starting pitchers in the Live Ball era (since 1920). I’ve seen a ton of “greatest of his generation” claims, but Kershaw, as a starter, was the single greatest run preventer of the last 100 YEARS. That’s more than a few generations.

I have one Kershaw story to share tonight. My family made the trip to Dodgers Spring Training before the 2009 season. Kersh had a solid rookie year, but expectations were higher for his second campaign. We got to see him face-off for a few innings against the Brewers. After his outing, my mom and I trailed Kersh to the back fields where he was getting some extra conditioning in. Never one to interrupt a man’s work, I refused to line up for autographs with the other fans. My mother wouldn’t have it though and patiently waited for everyone to get their signature before getting a silver Sharpied autograph on a clean, brand new black bill New Era cap. I had that hat through the end of high school and college.

I don’t understand sports memorabilia. I don’t understand buying autographs. But Kershaw’s signature on that hat was a small secret between him, myself and time. I’m so grateful my mom snagged it. Whenever my love for the Dodgers faded (and it did frequently anytime we made the playoffs before 2020), I would catch a glimpse of Kershaw’s penmanship and remember what it’s all about. This time next year, he won’t be seen in the dugout. His curveball won’t buckle some up and comer. My hat is long gone. It’s a tough chapter to close. This chapter started with Clayton, MannyWood, Brad Penny. It’s closing with Shohei, Mookie, and Freddie. There’s so much KMARK in between. I don’t know when I’ll see Clayton again, and I need a new hat, but if I ever do, I hope I have a silver Sharpie.

The NFC East is most certainly not the NFC Beast this year, but it’s still a great nickname. Home of the champs, let’s tackle how all these teams have fared so far.

Giants, 0-2

This is a waiting game until Jaxson Dart is named starting QB. If you’ve been reading, you know I’d be happy to see him spend a season learning. Does Russell Wilson throwing an overtime interception that sets up the Cowboys for a game winning field goal help that, no. No it does not. The Giants have an enviable defensive line (Abdul Carter, Dexter Lawrence, Kayvon Thibedeaux). Malik Nabers is a true WR1. Can they exercise enough patience not to sacrifice Dart behind one of the league’s worst offensive lines?

Commanders, 1-1

Please give Jayden Daniels the strength in his knee that he needs not to be Robert Griffin III. The Commanders were last year’s darling but they have the oldest roster in the NFL. Their injury luck is already running thin. If Daniels returns to full strength, they can pile enough wins off the Cowboys and Giants to keep threatening the Wild Card.

Cowboys, 1-1

Boy could this team use an All-World edge rusher. George Pickens and CeeDee Lamb work for Dak Prescott. The Cowboys are going to wrack up points. Brandon Aubrey is in field goal range the minute the Boys cross midfield. Can Bears flameout coach Matt Eberflus get enough from this defense to make people forget Micah Parsons and get Dak back in the Wild Card round?

Eagles, 2-0

You didn’t ask for it, but here it is: don’t ban the Tush Push. The owners against the Push lost outlawing the play by four votes over the summer, but it seems destined to be banned next year. Why? Critics claim it’s ugly football, refs have no ability to accurately officiate it, and it seems dangerous. To me, it’s a bridge to Football Past. More teams should Tush. If there’s anything this league needs less of, it’s rules. Perhaps each team will carry two 400lb defensive lineman specifically to defend the Push. That’s great! Until then, expect Jalen Hurts and the Birds to convert every 3rd and 2, win the division, and chase another Super Bowl.