Thibs could barely bring himself to give his guys a 4th quarter rest. Celtics roll in game 5. A team playing with nothing to lose is a dangerous team…

Wolves wrap up Warriors. Cooper Flagg (and Giannis) are heading West. Wemby returns from his blood clot. In a loaded West, this might legitimately be Steph’s last playoff series.

Edmonton sneaks one in the net. Seals a round 2 series win. Just saying, if you need a petroleum based Canadian city to root for, this could be your team!

Back. Harrier than ever. It’s The Hairy Putter:

For those of us plugged into the golf zeitgeist over the last week or so, two things are abundantly clear:

1. Philly Cricket was an undeniable W. Mutual adoration from the players and fans. Tons of scuttlebutt about returns to golden age courses and northeast cities on a more consistent basis. Pleased to say that the team at KMARK 101 was all over this from the jump.

2. The calendar flipped to Monday and Quail Hollow was taking shrapnel in the middle of a monsoon. That didn’t stop Hideki from putting in some work (if you could call it that) on the greens (if you could call them that). Much of the media and players such as JT, Rory, and most importantly Hunter Mahan instead took to the mic to share their ambivalence for this week’s venue. Webb Simpson lives on the 7th hole and appears pleased with the set up – zero surprises there. I refuse to believe points 1 and 2 are disconnected.

I’m not particularly interested in piling on Quail this week. Everything we highlighted and appreciated about Philly Cricket lets you know exactly where we stand. In short, I’m with Hunter, and frankly I’d love to grab a beer with the guy. We’ll let other outlets examine the topic of “the course” further. 

As for us, it’s all about the storylines baby! There’s plenty to be chuffed about heading into any major championship and this week is certainly no different. In fact, given the balance of in-form Dudes and scarcity with which we get to see them all competing for the same obscene amount of cash, you could convince me this tournament might produce the most compelling Sunday of the year (non-Masters division… side note… we’re gonna be talking about that tournament for the rest of our lives, huh?). 

The best version of this tournament is bound to be an execution mid-term, not quite final exam – competitive in the end, yet highly predictable in its journey. What better way to prepare than by publishing a Very Original and Very Serious Storyline Power Rankings for us all to forget about once the real ones emerge (Scottie got fucking arrested last year at Valhalla in case you forgot). Let’s get to it.

1. Rory - It’s impossible to start anywhere else and I’m not going to apologize about it. It’s only natural to wonder if the newly crowned Grand Slam winner will be “freed up” on a generational level. Will the Rory Slam be in play come Oakmont? He’s run away from the field here at Quail before and my gut tells me he’s gonna snatch a few souls this week yet again.

2. Bryson - Feels fitting that we’d run back the final pairing from Augusta as the 1-2 punch again this week. Data Golf tells us the bombers will thrive here and it’s natural to think the only golfer in the field built like a bull elk will be in the mix late on Sunday. Vegas agrees. We’ll see if Bryson’s iron-play and putter cooperate.

3. Conditions - Listen, it’s soaking wet out there. QHC’s membership (largely VPs within Charlotte’s financial sector) has all the resources it needs to get the greens back and firing, but it’s going to be soft and there’s no getting around that. This ranking mainly serves to lift and separate numbers 1 & 2 on the list, but it’s also a wag of the finger towards the “Quail is so pure, dude” crowd. That’s bound to get plenty of run, which is unfortunate.

4. JT & Scottie - You could call this pairing the Battle of Potential Merchants. Both guys are total weapons that could easily win by 4 shots with a hot putting week. But could you imagine the conversation if JT wins a 3rd PGA and 2nd at Quail Hollow? That’s practically 1.5 majors. And for Scottie, when do the demands for a major championship outside of Augusta start to get uncomfortably loud?

5. Speith - Speith’s storyline this week is an apt microcosm for his golf game on the whole. A true battle between the mind and the heart, the simple par or the difficult par. Ultimately, it’s way more fun to enjoy the ride than to lose any sleep over it. Do I think he notches the career grand slam this week? No. Ever? Probably not. But tuning in to find out is never a mistake with Speith.

6. Do You Still Exist? I’m looking squarely at you, Jon Rahm. You chose $350M and 130K viewers on Fox Sports One (The UFL does about 800K which is probably worth its own deep dive cc: KMARK). And while I’m not here to judge or examine the LIV decision, I’m also not here to make excuses for a player that was once thought of as a generational talent. I haven’t lost hope of a Rahm resurgence, but the unfortunate reality is that the majority of us only get 4 status checks a year. Cam Smith narrowly dodges a bullet in this category purely based on vibes. Brooks has his hands full with the Maple Leafs down in Florida – he gets a pass.

7. More Likely Than You Think - Since 1980, over 50% of men’s major championships have been crowned to first-time major winners. It makes sense the more you think about it (Xander ring a bell?). Get comfortable with these names in no particular order. A coin flip would tell you they have a shot:

- Tommy Fleetwood, Davis Thompson, Corey Conners, Mav McNealy, Ludvig Aberg, Patrick Cantlay (No), Russell Henley, Cameron Young (No), Denny McCarthy (Yes), Stephan Jaeger, Tyrell Hatton, Joaquin Niemann (No), Jake Knapp (Yes), Max Homa, Viktor Hovland, Daniel Berger, Keith Mitchell, Akshay Bhatia, Andrew Novak, Sepp Straka (Yes), Robert MacIntyre, Harris English, Either Højgaard

Enjoy the major championship viewing, everyone. Some fun stuff in the hopper for the coming weeks.

***Edit: I didn’t mention Collin Morikawa’s name once and that feels like a mistake. Not gonna let that happen, Consider him mentioned***