Slow news day prompts local man’s tardiness of newsletter publication. Let’s get into it.

Justin Thomas kicks a 5 footer on 18. Makes par and misses the course record by one shot. PAIN. Sea Island Mafia Man Country Club Keith Mitchell (full name) shoots 64 at PGA alternate event in Corales Punta Cana. Joel Dahmen breaks course record with 62.

An exhaustive one day search lands Scott Perry as the new GM of the Sacramento Kings. Where do I know that name? Oh yeah, ex-Knicks GM from the Kristaps era. Twolves are the priciest NBA playoff team. Budget ballers Thunder clock in $130m cheaper and just wrapped a historic 1 seed season.

BASEBALL INJURY….suffering from inflammation driven by a mysterious bite, Pat Corbin misses a Dbacks start. Who, whom, or what bit Pat! Seesaw final innings end with Mariners topping Reds. Two days after pumping the Angels, Halos fall back to .500. Drop one to the Rangers 5-3.

Baseball is 11% done with its season! You have to catch up. As much as you’re eating Draft tape for the NFL, buckling up for 40 Games in 40 Nights, or just coming up for air Post-Rory, the baseball world trucks on. Here are three storylines you might’ve heard but need to know more:

1. Torpedo Bat - rolls off the tongue. Popularized by the Yankees wrecking the Brewers in the season’s opening week, torpedo bats are popping up across the league. In an effort to move the barrel closer to where most hitters make contact, MIT Aaron Leanhardt developed the torpedo bat. Remember, in our lifetime, we lived through the Big Barrel revolution. Early 2000s hitters enlarged the barrel. A broken bat epidemic ensued, but ultimately the new bat was adopted and is now standard. Point is, torpedo bat might seem like stretching the game, but bat technology does shift every 20-30 years. It’s entirely legal. Since switching to the Pedo (torp?), Cal Raleigh has 6 home runs in the last week. Because he’s a Mariner, his 6 home runs have been worth 7 RBI’s.

2. The NL West is a train (minus the Rockies) - Will the Dodgers make the playoffs? Despite threatening to win every game (they started 8-0), the Dodgers find themselves looking up at the 15-4 Padres. The Giants are 13-6. The Dbacks are probably April’s best 4th place team at 12-7. This division could have 4 teams win 90 games and three make the playoffs. Each team is deep, boasts top of the rotation arms, and will likely beat up the rest of the league.

3. Hard hit rate - For the Fantasy Boys looking to pluck a few guys having career seasons. Hard Hit % is typically the fastest stabilizing advanced stat that correlates to offensive production. That is, while sample sizes are tiny and you’re looking for future performance, keep your eyes on Hard Hit Rate to find some fantasy gems. See: Kyle Stowers (MIA). He’s pounding the ball (8th in HHR) in limited opportunities, but could be poised for a breakout year.